


He has a tattoo?!

by Marionette01



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics)
Genre: Bat Family, Cass is smug, Dick Grayson is a Talon, Fluff and Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-09-16
Packaged: 2020-10-06 14:42:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20508713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marionette01/pseuds/Marionette01
Summary: This fix is for Widdlewed and Kathendale's Roasted au.The Bat Family has many secrets, some not even Bruce Wayne knows so what happens when Stephanie decides to play a game with them?





	1. He has a tattoo?!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [widdlewed](https://archiveofourown.org/users/widdlewed/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Roasted](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17024694) by [widdlewed](https://archiveofourown.org/users/widdlewed/pseuds/widdlewed). 

Wayne Manor, home to several key figures famous to the chaotic Gotham City. Such of these people was the billionaire Bruce Wayne, his many adopted children and their butler, Alfred Pennyworth.

It was a lovely day out, Alfred and Dick had chosen to go on some errands while Bruce and his horde of children remained behind.

Stephanie, the only blonde in this family of redheads, brunettes and black, had a gleeful look that if at the right angle, could be mistaken for a look of insanity "Let's play a game!" The purple wearing teen said as the rest of the family trickled into the kitchen.

Bruce gave the girl a look of concern as she gleefully set down several plates of food "What kind of game are we talking about Steph?" Questioned the billionaire.

The smile on Stephanie's face widened even more, who spiked her with Joker gas?! Damian?! "One of these has laxatives in them. We each tell a secret about Dick that no ones knows. But if we all do know it, you take a bite of the food. Just be hopeful it ain't spiked with laxatives." She explained, putting down the last of the plates before sitting down.

The bat family looked unsure, she wouldn't spike their breakfast. Right?

So, one by one, the heroes still clad in their pyjamas sat down cautiously eyeing the leftovers from the previous night.

Stephanie clapped her hands together "Alright, who wants to start us off?" The table stayed silent for a moment, Stephanie saw the nervous looking Tim and grinned "Timmy!" She barked as snickers broke out from Damian and Jason when Tim jumped "Be a dear and start us off?"

Tim sighed "Alright fine. After Bruce adopted me, Dick and I watched a documentary on Owls, Dick went up to the roof and hooted for three nights straight trying to call for his brethren." Tim finished smugly but alas, his smug look dissolved after a brief moment as grumbles ran across the table and the family stabbed into the dishes while being wary of laxatives. Tim looked at them in disbelief "Wait what?" He whispered mostly to himself.

Jason gave Tim a sly smirk "I recorded the entire thing." He pulled out his phone and selected the video.

The video flickered to life and showed that Dick was scaling the walls of the manor to gain access to the roof

_ "HOOT HOOT HOOT HOOT" _Hooted Video Dick, Jason's cackles echoed in the background. 

Video Bruce was pinching the bridge of his nose before looking up to the sky, as if he were praying for patience. Alfred was standing by his said not fazed at Dick's hooting.

_ "Alfred?" _

_ "Sir?" _

_ "Do we just let this continue?" _

_ "I do believe we couldn't stop Master Dick even if we tried, Sir." _

Video Bruce let out a groan and put his face in his hands muttering why was his eldest like this?

Current Bruce flashed Jason an annoyed look "I remember telling you to delete that footage."

Jason gave his father a cheeky grin "I delete the original, but not before sending it to Babs."

Barbara smiled "I made copies Bruce. Would you like one?" The hacker snickered at the look of annoyance Bruce was giving her.

Stephanie waved her hand "Alright Bruce, it's your turn. What naughty secrets do you know about Dick?" The blonde leaned forward with interest.

Bruce gave Stephanie a flat look "Dick knows how to disassemble and reassemble the Batmobile without my help." 

Looks of surprise morphed on the faces of everyone sans Barbara "You knew Babs?" Duke asked, watching as Barbara ate a piece of her food.

The woman hummed "Mhm. Walked in on him fixing up the Batmobile engine while Bruce was working on a case. His hands aren't just for making pastries and coffee you know."

The game of secrets went in for a few more rounds, each of the bats taking bites from the leftovers luckily no one had eaten a laxative yet.

Although, when it was Cassandra's turn, all hell would break loose.

Stephanie pointed her fork in Cass's direction "Alright Cassie, you're up!" 

Cassandra looked around the table, seeing everyone's intrigued looks and she couldn't help but smirk _ just _ a tiny bit.

"Dick has a tattoo." She spoke quietly and softly. But to everyone else, she might have well of screamed it through a megaphone.

Knives, forks and Tim's coffee cup dropped. The silence was deafening, Dick has a tattoo. How?! When?! Why?! Where?! Was the collective thought of the bats.

Bruce, poor, poor, Bruce looked ready to have a heart attack "Cassandra, where did Dick get his tattoo?" The Dark Knight asked.

Cass gave her father a sweet albeit smug smile "Never tell."

"Cass please!" Cried Jason.

Cassandra would be lying if she said that Dick wasn't the only one to get a tattoo, she got a little owl symbol on her ankle and Dick got a little bat symbol on his ankle.

The only reason she and Dick hadn't told anyone because when Dick was getting his tattoo, the ink used at the Tattoo Parlor was repeatedly pushed out by Dick's skin so they both went to Leslie Thompkins.

The doctor had knowledge of Dick's unique anatomy and managed to get the chemical balance just right for the ink to stay on his body permanently. The doctor had grumbled the entire time repeatedly saying "I'm not a tattoo artist." and "The thing I do for this family."

Stephanie gave her sister a long, pleading look "Cassie, baby. As your sister, tell me where Dick got his tattoo!" 

"No."

Stephanie let out a whine and placed her head on the table.

Dick, the wonderful soul that he is, walked into the kitchen holding several bags of groceries as Alfred trailed behind him with some of the lighter bags.

The talon looked at his family with concern "Is everything alright?" He asked, putting down the bags.

Damian and Jason shared looks with each other nodded and shot out of their chairs to tackle Dick to the ground "TAKE OFF YOU CLOTHES!" Barked the two.

Dick let out a cry of surprise as his shirt was pulled off him "I THOUGHT I WAS MATCHING TODAY!" He yelped as everything but his socks and underwear were taken off him.

Cass let out a laugh, watching her oldest brother get back on his feet "You look nice today Dick!" She smiled.

Dickz despite his lack of clothes smiled back at her "You look lovely as well Cassie!" 

Barbara squinted at Dick, glancing up and down his body. Where was that tattoo? 

Something caught her eye, was that yellow? Barbara's eyes widened and bit her lip "_ oh my god _" she squealed quietly. He got an ankle tattoo!! 

Dick glanced over at Barbara and winked.

It was a secret, it was probably best to keep it that way. For now, anyway.


	2. World's Greatest Detective

**30 or so years from now**

Terry Mcginnis, the current Batman strolled around the Batcave where he saw his little brother Matt using some of Bruce's old training recordings to teach himself the art of crime fighting. 

Max was off to one side, looking through some of the old cases the Bat family had worked on many years ago.

The Old Man, as Terry affectionately calls him, was staring at pictures of two of his children, Cassandra and Dick. Terry could faintly hear the man muttering to himself as he walked past.

"Max." Terry said "What's up with the old man? Never seen look so annoyed before."

The pink haired woman glanced up from the case files to Bruce's direction "Don't know… Mr Wayne has been like that for a while now." Max turned her gaze back to Terry "Why don't you ask him what's bothering him. Maybe you can help him." She said and went back to looking at the case files.

  
  


Terry shrugged and walked over to Bruce, the former vigilante was completely unaware of Terry leaning against his chair "So Old Man, what's got you so interested in Cass and Dick?" 

If it weren't for his many years of training, Bruce would've jumped "It's nothing Terry. Don't you have patrol?" The man muttered, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

Terry eyed the screen "I just got back. Couple of attempted muggings but that's it. Now c'mon, share you secret!" 

Bruce gave Terry a long, hard look. That tone of voice… it was eerily similar to Stephanie "I'm trying to solve a mystery that has been plaguing this family for the past 30 years, Terry."

An idea burst in Bruce's head "But maybe, maybe you can help!" 

Terry looked at the old man like he was crazy. He  _ never _ asked for help. He never needed help. 

C'mon Terry! Think of something witty and funny! 

"Uh-sure"

Damn it Terry. You had one job!

"Terry, if you were to get a tattoo, where would the least likely place would a person check?" Bruce questioned, observing the look of surprise on Terry's face.

Yeah. He expected that reaction.

Terry's face of shock quickly turned into an amused one and he snorted "Were. I have a tattoo." 

Bruce's face went blank. Not a single emotion could be identified on the wrinkled face.

Terry leaned in closer to the Batcomputer. If he were Dick Grayson and Cassandra Cain-Wayne, where would he get a tattoo? 

It was as if a switch was flipped "Their ankles!" He exclaimed "It has to be their ankles! No one can be that smug and hide a tattoo from the Batman! They're practically showing it off!"

Bruce observed the photo one last time, taking in Terry's points. Then it all fit together like a jigsaw puzzle.

Bruce stood up from the chair, grabbing his cane "Excuse me, I need to make a call." 

Matt's eyes followed the former Dark Knight as he exited the Batcave "Mr Wayne did not look happy."

Max chuckled lightly "when does he ever look happy?" She joked, getting a laugh from Terry and Matt.

Upstairs, in Bruce's study, the man was sitting in the chair.

A communicator was sitting on his desk, its screen was black for a few moments until the face of Commissioner Barbara Gordon appeared "Good Evening Barbara, I know it is quite late but I believe we have a few things to clear up." The man greeted.

The greying redhead raised a brow at her former mentor " _ What things do we gave to clear up Bruce?" _ She asked. 

Bruce, ever so slightly, narrowed his eyes "A certain event in our family history from 30 years ago."

Barbara let out a groan "Oh my God Bruce! For the last time! It wasn't me who blew up the oven at Dick's cafe! It was Aion trying to impress Cullen!"

Bruce's annoyed expression fell apart "AION BLEW UP THE OVEN?!" Yelled Bruce in clear shock. Why had no one told him about the oven?!

Barbara's face went blank "Oh. That's not you called about was it?" The Commissioner questioned.

"No…" growled Bruce "It's about Dick and Cass." 

"Are they alright?!"

"They're fine, Barbara."

Barbara let out a sigh of relief "then what's up?"

"It's about their tattoos." Bruce said casually.

"What about them?" 

"They got tattoos on their ankles?" 

Barbara gave her friend a quizzical look "yeah? Bruce this happened 30 odd years ago, why are you bringing it up now?"

Bruce stayed silent but for Barbara it was the answer she needed "Oh-Oh my God! You didn't know!" She broke down into hysterical laughter "IT TOOK YOU THIRTY YEARS TO FIGURE OUT WHERE THEY GOT THEIR TATTOOS?!" Crowed Barbara, tears of laughter streaming down her face.

Her laughter was turning wheezy and gasp ish "World's greatest detective, my ass!" She panted.

"Barbara-" Bruce began but was ignored.

"I-I have to tell Tim! Steph! Everyone!" Barbara's face disappeared from the screen and it went black.

Bruce slumped in his chair, why couldn't he have had a nice, normal family?


	3. Vines, Robins and Cats

It was a late Saturday night in Gotham.

Bruce was on the verge of having a breakdown whenever Aion and Damian were in the same room as one another.

Damian was repeatedly caught throwing knives and other sharp objects at Aion, who taunted the poor child every time he missed.

"I've bad enough of the fighting!" Barked the Dark Knight. Damian froze mid throw while his older half-brother tilted his head at their father.

"We're just playing dad!" Aion said, casually ducking when Damian threw the knife "Getting better baby bird!" Aion mockingly cooed.

Damian grit his teeth.

Bruce sighed and silently prayed for patience "Aion enough." The cat-like teen pouted.

Suddenly, an idea formed in Bruce's head "Both of you are going out on patrol tonight!" He said far too cheerfully.

The two made their protests loud and clear, both hissing that they would rather work with Jason.

Bruce raised his hand to shut down the protests "Think of it as a bonding experience." Bruce smirked before turning on his heel "Maybe you both have a lot more in common than you realise."

Damian glared at his father's retreating back "I don't like this!" He hissed and stormed off to the Batcave.

Aion, for once, agreed with him "Preach it, Midget!" He nodded, swiftly ducked when the knife graze his cheek and embedded itself in the wall, nearly hitting Helena.

"Damian!" She squealed, pulling the knife from the wall.

**Later**

Aion and Damian, both clad in their Bad Luck and Robin uniforms exited Big Dick's Cafe, each holding a cup of hot chocolate.

"So where do you wanna start?" Asked Aion, downing the remnants of his hot chocolate.

"Founders island." Damian said before grappling away, hot chocolate in hand.

Aion rolled his eyes and pulled his whip off his hip and followed Damian.

The two stalked the rooftops in awkward silence.

Aion glanced at his little brother "So..." he began, "How long do you often do go on patrol?" He asked with genuine curiosity.

Damian shrugged "Two or Three hours. Depends if it's a school night or not." 

Aion hummed "With or without Dad's permission?" 

Damian lips twitched upwards "What he doesn't know, can't hurt him." Damian said, looking down at the city. Aion couldn't help but chuckle "Oh yeah... you're definitely my brother."

Damian's phone vibrated from its place in his utility belt. He pulled it out, it was a message from Barbara.

"Some tourists are lost near Panessa Studios? Can you help them?"

Damain typed out a quick reply "Aion and I will handle it."

The short hero stood up "Come on, there's some lost tourists that need assistance!" He said before breaking out into a sprint and jumping off the building.

Aion made a confused sound "Since when do we help tourists? Robin? Robin?!" He chased after him. 

_ Should've taken the bike! _ Aion thought sourly, watching Damian glide across the city.

By the time Aion had caught up to Damian, the bird hero was hiding behind some burned out cars "What's going on? Where are the tourists?" Aion questioned, landing next to Damian.

Damian vaguely gestured to the group of cheap wearing criminals.

Aion gave Damian a flat look "Robin, those are criminals not tourists."

Damian gave Aion an equally flat look "Well done, Caption Obvious. Would you like that promotion to General Obvious?" He snarked.

Aion narrowed his eyes at Damian "What's the plan here? And can you say it without the sass?"

"Can you seduce them?" 

"Damian what the fuck?!"

"Use the same charm you use to get Cullen all flustered." 

Aion glared "No!"

Damian growled before taking a deep breath "Aion, do you remember one time I liked you?" The multi coloured hero asked, reaching for a batarang.

Aion thought for a moment before shaking his head "No..."

Damian smirked and jumped over the car "Good, cause it never happened!" Damian charged at the masked criminals with a laugh while Aion looked his his world was just flipped upside down.

"Did he use a vine reference?!" He whispered before snapping back to reality and joining his brother in the fight.

The two took little time to deal with the pathetic excuse of criminals.

Honestly, was Gotham the only place where you could have a decent fight?!

Damian pulled out his grappling gun, using it to incapacitate one guy who pulled a knife on Aion. The short hero, bless him, somehow had the strength to start swinging the man around like a rag doll before retracting his grapple and letting out a war cry that would forever haunt Aion for the rest of his days;

"GET YEETED!"

Aion froze, slowly turned his head to Damian "W-what did you say?!" He asked weakly.

Damian flashed him a smirk, okay was the brat Taila Al Ghul's son or Selina's?! That smile was way too much like hers

"You heard me, brother."

Damian threw a batarang and caught some poor fool in the head, rendering him unconscious. Damian walked around the area, picking up his discarded batarangs "Contrary to what everyone believes, I'm not ignorant to pop culture Bad Luck. I just play ignorant and oblivious."

Aion was practically shaking in place, eyes glinting at the possible blackmail "Why are you telling me this, Robin?!"

Damian pulled out his grapple, launched it to the movie studios roof "Because Brother..." Damian gave him a smile that was all teeth "No one will ever believe you." And with those parting words, Damian was gone.

Aion watched his little brother disappear into the night in admiration and horror at his words "You sick son of a bitch!" He hissed and began to make his way back to the manor.

Aion stalked through the halls of Wayne Manor, going straight to his sister Helena's room. The cat-like teen entered the room without a knock.

"Aion what the-?!"

"Damian knows vines and everything else!"

Helena's expression was one of amusement "Aion he wouldn't know what vine is. He probably thinks that Vine was a literal vine or something. Now get out. Girl needs sleep!" She ordered, pushing Aion out of her room despite his protests that Damian was lying.

Helena slammed the door shut behind Aion, leaving the poor teen alone in the corridor.

"What did I tell you?" Damian's voice echoed around.

Aoin narrowed his eyes as Damian dropped from the ceiling "I'll get you for this! I will expose you your secret!" He hissed like a cat.

Damian tilted his head innocently "What secret?"

Aion looked ready to pounce when Bruce came around the corner behind Damian "How was patrol?" He asked.

It was unnerving how fast Damian could shift his personality so swiftly "It was mediocre. Nothing really happened just a couple of tourists." Damian said coldly.

Aion on the outside was giving his father a happy like but internally, Aion was screaming "What the fucknuts?!" On repeat at Damian.

Bruce frowned "did you two have a bounding moment out there?" 

Damian scoffed "No... we have nothing in common. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to bed." Damian brushed past Bruce, but not before giving Aion a sly look.

_ Oh if looks could kill... _ Aion thought.  _ I'll get you for this Brat! I swear it! _


	4. The Oven incident

Aion, son of the Cat and the Bat.

He was many things, a flirt (Cullen), a thirsty bitch (Literally anyone who has met him), Furry Trash (Shut up Damian!) And so on…

But one thing he was not was a cook. Perhaps it was because he hadn't been taught or was just too lazy to learn, the latter seemed to be the most likely.

The cafe was unusually quiet, Selina had mentioned that Joker was going to kidnap the mayor or something and Ivy was out testing her newest babies somewhere downtown so traffic was a bitch to maneuver around.

Cullen was in the Cat Cafe with Selina and Carrie tending to the newest additions, some abandoned kittens Selina had found. The blue haired teen pulled his attention away from the tiny kitten "Does anyone else smell smoke?" He sniffed, his nose wrinkling in disgust.

Selina put down the kitten she was holding and sniffed "Oh Good God…" Muttered the thief before gathering up the kittens "Cullen, can you check on Aion? Carrie and I can clean up here." 

Cullen nodded and exited the Cat Cafe.

The teen rushed over to the source of the smoke, the kitchen, and saw that Aion was sitting on the counter, watching a video on his phone. From the looks of it, he was completely oblivious to the smell of smoke.

"Aion!" Cullen through a sponge at him and catching him in the face.

Aion spluttered, his phone and the sponge dropping on the counter.

The cat-like teen wiped his eyes, ready to snap but saw that it was Cullen standing there "Cullen, Darling, if you wanted my attention you could've called~" he purred.

Cullen glared at Aion, not in the mood for his flirting "Aion, what the fuck is burning?!" He snapped, glancing warily at the oven, thick, black smoke started to ooze out of it.

Aion leaned forward "Only my passion for you…" He winked.

Cullen's eyes widened when the oven burst into flames "AION THE OVEN IS ON FIRE!" He screeched backing against the door.

The other teen spun around, ran for the fire extinguisher and charged at the burning oven "fuck fuCK FUCK!" 

Aion growled as the flames wouldn't die out as the foam hit it "IT'S GONNA BLOW!" He yelled, throwing the fire extinguisher to one side, grabbing Cullen by the arm and yanking the blue haired teen out.

"EVERYONE GET THE FUCK OUT  _ NOW _ ! OVEN IS GONNA BLOW!" Screeched Cullen.

Morgan, Ketti, Slade, Harley, Red Hood and Spoiler looked up in alarm and dashed out of the cafe followed by Carrie, Selina and some random thugs.

The silence was deafening.

Then

** _B O O M_ **

Kerri fell to her knees "Oh God… boss is gonna kill you Aion." She groaned.

Aion looked alarmed "Not my fault! I set a timer! It never went off!" He cried out, ignoring the various looks of disbelief.

Selina, on the other hand, looked to be having violent flashbacks to a mother's day when Aion and Helena tried (keyword is  _ tried _ ) to bake a cake for her only to end up nearly burning the apartment down.

Spoiler gave him a flat look "Aion what were you trying to make?" Questioned the purple clad hero, as a GCFD fire truck pulled up.

Aion had the decency to blush "makin a cake…" he muttered, his cheeks burning in embarrassment.

Eyebrows were raised "Say again?" Carrie smirked, she had heard him loud and clear the first time.

Aion's face was as red as Harley's outfit and Jason's helmet "I was making a cake for Cullen!" He snapped.

Harley, Stephanie, Morgan, Ketti and Carrie cooed and muttered amongst themselves about how cute he is, little charmer…

Cullen's cheeks were dusted red "You tried to make a cake for me?" He asked, getting closer to Aion.

Aion, who wanted to curl up and die from embarrassment, nodded "Yeah…" he said quietly watching the fire fighters exit the cafe, one of them holding the charred remains of Aion's cake.

Cullen was handed the cake by one of the fire fighters. He couldn't help but smile lightly "Well, thank you for the attempt Aion." Cullen placed a kiss on the cat-like teens cheek.

If possible, Aion went redder "Yeah… sure… no problem…" he said somewhat dazed, absentmindedly placing a hand on the cheek Cullen kissed.

Morgan, the only person who seemed to be grounded in reality, piped up "So how do we explain to boss? Or is there a way we can fix it before he finds out?" She asked, silently enjoying watching everyone stiffen like statues.

"Flash!" Harley snapped her fingers "He could help us!" She beamed

J

"But he's all the way in Central!" Slade exclaimed. 

Harley hummed, rolling on her heels "He would do anything to keep Dickie happy! Just imagine how sad our little barista will be when he finds out what happened to the cafe!" The jester exclaimed.

Everyone seemed to take this into consideration, sad Dick was not a good thing.

"Done!" Red Hood's voice spoke as he put away his phone "Flash is on his way!" 

"Oracle said she will keep Dick business for a while." Spoiler beamed behind her mask.

**A moment later**

Wally appeared holding a tool set "Let's fix this bitch!" The Speedster whispered before dashing into the damaged cafe.

This went for a while, Wally would dash in and out of the cafe. During his many in and out trips, someone (cough Selina and Aion cough) had acquired (stole) a brand new oven of similar make to the old one.

Once that was put into place, everyone went back to their normal sitting positions which was a tad awkward when Dick walked in, oblivious to the destruction that had taken place hours earlier "Is everything alright?" The barista asked, looking at his employees who tried to avoid his sharp gaze.

"Uh-Everything's fine Boss!" Ketti smiled, serving a cup of coffee to Harvey.

Dick narrowed his eyes "Then would someone like to explain why the oven is all busted out back?!" 

Curses ran out across the cafe.

"Aion can explain!" Selina smiled sharply at her son, who cringed at the look Dick gave him.

"It was an accident…?"


	5. Chapter 5

Harper, the poor soul, was out sick with a terrible cold and couldn't go to school. She and Cullen usually walked home together or to the cafe.

Cullen was one of the first students to be out of the school once the bell rang, signalling the day's end. He was a bit sad that he and Harper couldn't walk together, now he had to walk alone. Or that's what he thought.

"Cullen!" An all too familiar voice called from behind him.

Cullen looked behind him. Ah. There he was. That Motherfucker. The most thirsty bitch in all of Gotham "Aion?" The teen eyed the other "What are you doing here?" He asked.

Aion winked at him "Harper asked me to walk you to work and my shift starts soon anyway!" He said cheerfully.

Cullen squinted at Aion suspiciously "Harper wouldn't want you near me without anyone else present." 

Aion rolled his eyes and pulled out his phone from his pocket "Here." He said, handing the phone to Cullen "Scroll through my texts for proof. I'm telling the truth! Thief's Honor!" Aion grinned cheekily, watching as Cullen scrolled through his phone.

Cullen didn't even look up from the phone "Aion, we both know that means nothing in Gotham…" he muttered.

Aion feigned hurt "Cullen, you wound me! Would I ever lie?!" 

A blank look was Cullen's response.

"Huh. Guess you were telling the truth." 

Aion grinned again as Cullen handed the phone back to him "So what do you say? Let me walk you to work?" He purred.

Cullen let out a small sigh "Alright fine. C'mon-" Cullen gently grabbed Aion's arm "I know a shortcut." He pulled Aion down the street, quietly and quickly.

"What's the rush? We're not in until four thirty"

Cullen glanced over his shoulder and pulled the thief down an alley "I want to get my homework done!" He lied.

Aion narrowed his eyes "Cullen, that's a lie. I would know. Unless you're forgetting who dad is?" Aion came to a stop.

Cullen looked nervous "I'm not lying Aion. C'mon!" He tugged on Aion's arm but Aion didn't budge.

"Well well… goin somewhere Cullen?" A nasally sneered.

Aion looked over his shoulder and saw two guys, both looking like very upstanding citizens… he thought sarcastically.

"Tommy… Gerry…" Cullen greeted, Aion glanced at his friend  crush 

"Going somewhere weirdos?" The tall, blonde guy, Gerry grunted as he and his friend came down the alley.

"Work…" Aion spoke, his voice was like ice "Now be good little jocks and go away." He made a shooing motion.

Gerry, it would seem, did not take kindly to that and got up and close with Aion "Who the fuck do you think you are?!" He snarled in Aion's face. 

Ever so slightly, did Aion narrow his eyes "A thief you don't fuck with" Aion hissed, lodging his foot between Gerry's legs enjoying watching him fall to the ground a small squeak.

Cullen and Tommy winced, both of them watching Gerry writher on the ground.

"Let's go Cullen, Dick is gonna start worrying." Aion casually throw an arm around Cullen's shoulder and the two started walking away.

Tommy, glared darkly at Aion and Cullen "Get back here!" He roared and gave chase.

Cullen looked back and saw Tommy charging at Aion with a raised fist "Aion look out!" Cullen barked,shoving the cat-like teen out of the way, allowing Tommy to run right past then.

Cullen yanked off his bag and threw it at Tommy, catching him on the back of the knees. Tommy tumbled to the ground.

Aion watched in admiration as Cullen stormed up to the downed Tommy "Now listen here you shithead! I'm sick of dealing with your crap daily!" Cullen snapped, placing his foot firmly on Tommy's leg and started pressing down "Here's how things are going to be from now on 1. You leave me the fuck alone and I don't sic the Joker on you." Tommy looked quite pale all of a sudden "or 2. Keep it up and I'll personally end your future football career!"

Cullen removed his foot and picked up his bag, his phone vibrated, it was a message from Dick wondering why they were late "C'mon Aion… we're late!" Cullen grabbed Aion by the arm.

Aion allowed himself to be pulled away, the boy practically had heart eyes "Where did you learn to threaten people like that? Was it where you learned how to nearly break someone's leg?" Cullen flushed at the sudden questions.

"Cass and Steph been teaching me self defense and well I think being around the cafe may have boosted my confidence."

Aion internally was heavily thirsting after Cullen and didn't even realise they arrived at the cafe until Dick sprayed him with water "Dick what the hell?!" He spluttered, immediately wiping his face with the rag sitting next to him.

Dick frowned "The will be no thirsting while you're working!"

Aion's ears went pink "Was not…" he pouted.

Carrier smirked at him, her eyes were all knowing "You were definitely thirsty." She cackled when Aion throw the rag at her.


	6. Chapter 6

Bruce Wayne, Billionaire playboy, the Batman, was currently in his study on the verge of a heart attack.

_ Why? _ You ask.

His children thought it would be funny to hijack his cars from the garage. There was no news report about several supercars speeding around Gotham so he knew that Barbara was also part of his children's fun.

**Knock knock**

"Come in!" Bruce called, he put his phone back in his pocket when no one had answered his calls.

Alfred entered the study "Sir, Commissioner Gordon is here to see you." The aged butler informed, his arms behind his back.

Bruce's face paled "I… see Alfred. Could you send him in?" Bruce asked, sitting in the chair.

Jim entered the study "Bruce, it's good to see you! How have you been keeping?" The Commissioner asked, shaking Bruce's hand and sitting in the chair opposite the billionaire.

Bruce flashed him a smile "I've been good, Jim. Barbara says you have finally quit smoking!" 

Jim scratched the back of his head "Yeah, she's proud that I got rid of the filth and disgusting habit!" Jim snorted, remembering Barbara's stern glare and sterner words.

"Her words?" Bruce asked.

"Yup."

Jim looked around the room, it was unusually quiet in the manor. Usually there was a lot of shouting from Bruce's children "Where is everyone today Bruce? It's too quiet."

Bruce's smile was tight. He knew that his children were running wild around Gotham in their civilian outfits and in his everyday cars "Oh… they're just out for the day. Jason suggested it, it's not often that they all go out together." Bruce was internally panicking, he glanced up to the portrait of his parents, silently for strength.

Jim squinted at him behind his glasses. For a moment, Bruce thought that the Commissioner would see that he was lying.

"Good for them! It's nice to hear that they're getting along!" Jim beamed.

Bruce quietly let out the breath he was holding.

Jim's radio crackled to life " _ Gordon, you there? _ " Arron Cash's voice crackled over the radio.

The greying man flashed Bruce an apologetic look.

Bruce waved off the look "Police business is more important." He said. 

"Yeah, I'm here Cash." Jim replied.

" _ We got reports of sport cars speeding across the city _ ." 

Jim groaned and Bruce tensed "I'll be at the station in a few minutes." Jim said and turned off his radio. Again, he gave Bruce an apologetic look "I'm sorry, but duty calls." The man got off the chair and bid Bruce and Alfred goodbye.

Bruce watched from his study's window "I'm going to kill them." The father of many spoke, watching Jim's car drive away from the manor.

Alfred glanced over at the man, he was equally displeased "Sir, might I suggest a less harsh punishment?" He said dryly and set down a tray of freshly made tea and sweets.

Bruce spin around to Alfred, a glint in his eyes "I've got it!" He grinned.

**Later**

It was around 8pm that evening when the bat brats decided to return Bruce's cars to the manor.

Jason and Duke cackled to themselves as Jason drove the Lamborghini back into the garage "Oh man… I've never had so much fun before!" Duke hiccupped when the car came to a stop.

Jason looked suddenly pale as Cass, Tim and Aion pulled into the garage.

Duke looked at his older brother in concern "Jay? What wrong?" He asked.

Jason meekly pointed in front of them.

"Aw shit!" 

Dick was standing there, his arms crossed and a livid expression on his face. 

"Dickie bird! Big brother! Wazzup?" Jason greeted and awkwardly hugged the former Talon.

"You're all  _ grounded _ !" He hissed dangerously, his eyes flashing "Do. Not. Come near my cafe for the next month!" Dick glared at his siblings and stormed off.

Jason, Duke, Stephanie, Tim, Cass and Aion gaped at Dick and trailed after him, protesting that his punishment was too harsh.


	7. Chapter 7

The cafe was busy today, Dick and Ketti were taking orders. Aion was with Cullen and Carrie in the Cat Cafe. 

Harley, her wonderful wife Ivy, and Selina sat in one of the corner booths watching their favourite barista work.

"Can you imagine what we would be like if Dick didn't exist?" The red and black clad jester asked, sipping her Baby Bat "Its been what? Three years? I can't even remember life before then..." Harley mused.

Ivy hummed in agreement "Gotham certainly has brightened up since this cafe was opened up. Definitely for the better!" The scarlet haired woman winked at her wife who giggled.

Selina smiled as she watched her friends get all sweet with each other before glancing around the cafe and seeing Bruce, dressed as Batman standing in line with Robin. He looked happy. Well as happy as he could be dressed as a bat "Yeah. Definitely for the better." She downed the rest of her coffee and made her way to the cat cafe. As she did, she gave the Dark Knight a flirtatious wink.

Bruce winked back and poor Damian gagged.

At one of the window seats, an arm wrestling competition was going on between Black Bat and Deathstroke.

Both heroes and rogues were cheering and placing bets.

"COME ON WILSON! JOKER NEEDS A NEW PAIR OF SHOES!" 

"C'MON SIS! WRECK HIM! BREAK HIS ARM! MAKE HIM SCREAM!"

"Jesus tap dancing Christ Spoiler!"

"JESUS ISN'T HERE AND HE AIN'T GOT NO RHYTHM!

Passers by were looking in on the arm wrestling, some of them recording or live streaming.

It was unusual to see how at ease both the rogues and heroes were with each other. Usually they were at each other's throats, but since "BIG DICK'S CAFE" opened they had mellowed out a lot. There was still destruction but it wasn't city level anymore.

Slade grit his teeth while Cass kept her poker face.

"I'm not losing!" He hissed, his hand shaking against the heroine.

Cass glanced at him, her eyes filled with determination "Neither am I!" She whispered before slamming Slade's hand into the table, leaving visible cracks in the wood.

Cheers and yells rang out from those who had bet on Cass. 

Slade, ever the good spirit, held out his good hand to Cass "Well played, Black Bat." The two shook hands.

Slade tightened his grip and Cass' hand "But just know that I will be practising for a rematch!" Hissed the one eyed assassin. 

Cass smirked at him as he left go of her hand "Good. So will I." she said cheerfully.

Dick sighed as he approached the table "Alright. Now that your game is finished, which one of you is paying for the table?" Queried the barista.

Cass and Slade looked at Dick, then at each other "She/He will!" 

Dick rolled his eyes "Figure it out, please?" I don't want to be a table down." Dick walked away from the semi destroyed table while Cass and Slade bickered about who was paying for the damage.

Only in Gotham would you find Gotham's Rogues (Was Slade an unofficial Gotham Rogue? Nobody knows) and Heroes arguing over who would pay for a table.


	8. Gotham Nine-nine

The cafe was very busy today. Most, if not all, of Dick's regulars were there. Cass and Clayface where off to one side reciting one of Shakespeare's play, Dick did not know which one.

Damian sat in a booth, deeply enraptured by the sketch book Dick had bought him as a small gift. The youngest member of the Wayne family was drawing a cat.

Dick looked over at his owlet "A cat, owlet?" He asked as he set a hot chocolate in front of the boy "Interesting choice!" He beamed.

Damian's cheeks heated up "I just thought the cafe could use a picture or two." Damian said. He took a sip of his hot chocolate and grimaced, it was a little too hot for his tastes.

Dick let out a small laugh "Let it cool down first, Dami. You'll burn your tongue off" .

Damian nodded and went back to doodling the cat.

Selina walked in with Helena "Dick, two Baby Bats when your ready!" Selina asked. The barista nodded and typed it in. Helena began chatting with Barbara.

Selina glanced around and saw Damian doodling away. 

The woman slid into the booth "Hello Kitten." The woman greeted with her usual purr. Selina looked down at Damian's drawing "You certainly have talent!" 

Damian gave her a small smile "Thank you." He said and returned to his drawing.

"Catwoman?"

Helena placed the two coffee cups on the table "Yes, Damian?" She asked as she sipped at her Baby Bat.

"Did you get those treats and toys I sent for the cats? 

Selina nodded "I did, thank you Damian."

"It's no problem, Mom"

Helena choked on her coffee.

The cafe went silent, everyone looked over to Damian. Snickers and stifled laughter echoed from the civilian dressed Batfam.

Selina blinked, had she heard Damian correctly.

Damian looked up to see that everyone was staring at him "Why is everyone staring at me? He asked, it was a bit unnerving. Especially that grin on Stephanie's face.

Said teen snickered "You just called Catwoman "mom". You said "No problem Mom"

Damian went wide eyed "What? No I didn't. I said "No Problem Catwoman!" He denied.

Selina gave the poor, embarrassed boy a curious look "Do you see me as a Mother Figure Damian?" She asked.

Damian scoffed, his face was red with embarrassment "No. If anything I see you as a bother figure, cause you're always bothering me!" He exclaimed. Chuckles ran across the cafe.

Aion shot up from his place at his, Cullen's and Carrie's table "HEY! Show your mother some respect!" He snapped with no heat, he found this situation very amusing. It was nice to see that the little demon was embarrassed, if he couldn't get revenge, this would do.

Damian glowered at his brother "I didn't call her mom!" He hissed.

Selina placed her hands on Damian's "Nonono, Kitten, I take it as a compliment." She reassured the boy.

Barbara wheeled herself over to the booth "It's not a big deal, I called Kori "mom" once and she's my girlfriend." Barbara grinned.

Damian frantically waved his hand at Barbara "Guys, jump on that! Barbara has psycho sexual issues!" He yelled, but hushed when Dick raised an eyebrow at his tone.

Jason smirked at his youngest brother "Old news Brat, but you calling Catwoman "Mommy"" he snorted.

Damian glared, his eyes flashing dangerously "Hey "mommy" is not on the table!" He sneered

Helena shrugged "But you did call her mom dude"

Damian glared at his half sister "You. Shut up. Or I'll ship you back to Paris!" He growled. Oh god how he wanted to disappear, the embarrassment was killing him.

Helena squinted at the child "Try it Demon." She taunted.

Selina pinched her daughter's side "Be nice Helena!" Selina warned. Helena rolled her eyes.

Selina looked at Damian "It's okay Damian, I believe you…" the thief spoke kindly.

Damian let out a sigh of relief "Thank you!"

"...Son"

Damian cringed at the word.

"Do you want to go and play with the kittens?" Selina asked.

Damian's face was blank, as was his voice, "I'd like that." He said and slid out of the booth, followed by Selina.

**That evening…**

The warehouse was dimly lit, the shadows of two figures flickered into existence.

The taller of the two looked down at the shorter person "Do you have what I asked?" He asked with an arched eyebrow. 

The shorter figure timidly reached into his Superman hoodie and pulled out his phone "If he finds out I did this, he's gonna kill me!" He squeaked out as he handed the phone over "I know he keeps a box of Kryptonite under his bed!"

Aion grinned like a manic as he began the process of transferring everything Jonathan had on Damian.

"Don't you worry your fluffy head, Kent. You are under our protection!" Aion said.

Jon looked confused "Our?" He asked "Who's helping you?"

Aion tsked "My partner preferred to keep their identity a secret. If I fail, they can continue my mission." Aion made a shooing motion "Now go. You have done your part, it's my turn." Aion dissolved into quiet cackles then full on laughter when Jon flew away.


End file.
